Wookies Amok

(From Challenge magazine #37, written by Timothy R. Ryan)

Human Bounty Hunter Inittu Fusionfall- Chris
Cathar Bounty Hunter Jado Vondar- Michael
Human Outlaw Talon Blackstar- Lee
Human Slicer Hugh Mon- Mike C AKA "Chmiel"
Human Ex-Cop Burt Macklin- Callum
Human Rebel Agent Otto Farani- Mike J

(GM's note- This was one of the wackiest games I have run in a long time. Halfway through I decided to just let the players go with their insanity, and as long as they rolled well and the bad guys didn't, I didn't inject too much realism and consequences to their actions. I will say I have never penalized my players so many points for bad jokes, even Lee lost a chip.)
The characters are a Rebel cell, sent by their superiors to investigate reports of an Imperial prison holding Wookies on the abandoned mining world of Branth. Their ship comes out of hyperspace above Branth and is attacked by three TIE fighters. They fight their way through and the damaged ship heads in to land. But the atmosphere has dense, polluted clouds and visibility and sensor reception is poor. The pilot barely misses a refinery tower, but hits another and the ship crashes. The team gets themselves together and finds the cockpit is crushed and the ship crew (all NPCs) are dead. They gather weapons and equipment and begin to head towards the lights of the prison complex.
Along the way, they are stalked by something in the ruins and junk piles. It turns out to be a very old and damaged R series astromech, R1-T3. Hugh connects his computer to the droid and questions it and learns about the location of the prison and local patrols. Hugh takes the droid back to the ship for repairs and the rest of the team finds the prison. Its in an old factory building, stormtroopers escort prisoner details collecting salvage from the abandoned facilities. The prisoners wear slaver collars to keep them in check. The team lures a couple of stormtroopers away into an ambush and knock them out, then Inittu and Otto don their armor and go back to the patrol. When the work detail is over, they go back in with the rest of the stormtroopers and observe the prison routine and location of the cells. there are a couple of hundred wookies a few dozen humans and a score of Mon Calamari. When their shift is over, Inittu and Otto wander around the building, trying to explore it. They are stopped by an officer and have to stun him and hide him in the maintenance tunnels under the base. They figure out how to get access to the base from outside and smuggle in the rest of the team. With the officer's rank cylinder, they have access to more parts of the base. They find the hangar with a bulk freighter, some TIE fighters and a Corellian Corvette. They decide to free the prisoners, load everyone on the Corvette and escape. They slice into the comm system and order the two TIE fighters on patrol to land. The communications officer on watch questions them and they go to the hangar control and kill him. When the TIEs land, they ambush and kill the pilots and hide their bodies and the comm officer's in the fighters, then sabotage all the TIEs. Hugh calls the droid and tells it to hide near the prison where it will be picked up by a salvage team in the morning. They plan to have Inittu and Otto continue their charade as stormtroopers, go out with the morning salvage crew and bring back the droid. Then they will attack during the prisoner shift change and release the prisoners. They get into the Corvette and break into the armory and load a container with guns and grenades for the prisoners, then smuggle it through the maintenance ways to a stairwell near the prison. Since Jando is their only pilot, he hides aboard the Corvette so he can power it up in the morning. Morning comes and they attempt to
carry out their plan and it all hits the fan. The morning TIE patrol comes into the hangar to find the night patrol's ships, but no signs of the pilot. And the comm officer is missing as well. Inittu and Otto turn up for guard duty, but their armor is still dirty from yesterday and the duty officer calls them on it and orders them to remove their helmets. They go for broke and attack. Talon and Burt come out of the stairwell and open fire too. Hugh is on a computer terminal, trying to slice into the prison door controls, but Talon shoots the door lock. Jado starts trying to bring up the Corvette, but he's having a lot of trouble doing it single handed. The prisoners begin to come out of their cells and grab weapons and more and more prisoners are released and take up arms. The team explains the plan and they begin moving towards the hangar. Some of the team breaks off to grab R1T3 and they all pile into the Corvette, shooting their way past the prison guards. A crew comes to the bridge and offers to take over, but Jado insists on flying. A Rebel officer brings up the guns and rips the hangar doors open, then trashes the TIE fighters, the freighter and the control room. With everyone onboard, Jado lifts off and flies out of the hangar and almost crashes the ship. He gets it under control and heads for orbit, letting the experienced bridge crew plot their escape course.

Silly Quotes and Smart Remarks
Making up PC names and consulting various character generator websites
Lee "Talon Blackstar"
Jim "Not T'lon with an apostrophe?
Michael "Sounds like a main character name"
Lee "I am the main character of every game I play in"

The Rebels' ship crashes and the pilot is killed
Chmiel "I am a leaf on the wind"
Moans from other players
Michael "Too soon"

Lee "You know how you tape a flash light to your rifle? I tape it to my knife"
Chmiel "Doesn't that throw off the balance?"
Lee "No, it makes it lighter…"
More moans
Callum "I tape a light to my helmet to make me brighter"

Wearing the armor from a dead stormtrooper, someone asked "Why is your armor covered in blood?"
Michael "Its my period"

Michael's Cathar is a large brute of a cat-man, they're trying to capture enemy uniforms
Michael "I'll intimidate their clothes off"
Mike J "That's intense"
Lee "Is that what we're calling it? 'Why did you take off your uniforms?' 'Well, there was the biggest pussy I've ever seen' "

Discussing the plan to rescue the prisoners and the flaw in the plan that they might be forced to leave the droid behind
Jim "That's the only flaw you thought of?"
Lee "We're going to land on the fence to pick up the droid"

Chmiel "I had space dysentery that week"
Lee "Spysentery"
Jim "Spiarrhea"

Trying to move a dead body that's dripping blood
Jim "Make a First Aid roll to stop the corpse from bleeding"

Asking if they can get upstairs from the maintenance crawl ways without being seen
Jim "Not unless you can change into a snake and crawl up the toilet. Or change into a dianoga"
Lee "What do I roll for that?"

Jado is sneaking around the Corvette to make sure no one is aboard
Jim "You know he's walking around pissing on things going 'That's mine' ".