Tower in the Woods

Kevin- Elf Thief
Mike- Human Fighter
Michael- Human Druid
John- Elf Fighter/Mage

Summary
While in Opal, Kevin's thief is approached by another thief in a tavern and handed a letter. It turns out to be a mistake; it was meant for someone else. The letter is final details from one of the Opal Thieves' guildmasters to a thief about a job and a map to a ruined wizard's tower. The party decides to do the job themselves. They travel there and find an abandoned tower with its roof blown off. The tower seems to have been vacant for at least 30 years, judging from the growth of new trees around it. While they are looking at the tower, a pair of wyverns nesting in it fly down and attack them. They defeat the monsters and search the tower. The find a magic frying pan and cookpot, lantern and bathtub. The blown out floor was a wizard's laboratory. Searching the building again, there's a concealed door in the floor. It leads to stairs going down with many traps. At the bottom are three doors. Casting Detect Magic triggers a Contingency Spell loaded with Monster Summoning which puts them against some Hellhounds. One door leads to a storage closet of material components, another is a walk-in closet with wizard's robes and some minor magic items. The last room has a metal box. Mike's fighter brashly opens the box and is killed by a poison needle trap. Inside is a spellbook and metal staff. They decide to return to Opal, sell the items to the Thieves' Guild and get money to have Raise Dead cast on Mike's character.

The secret- The mage had prepared himself to be a lich. When he died in the blast, his soul went into the staff. When Mike's fighter died, the lich tried to possess his body and failed. Next time someone dies near the staff, the lich may escape…

Quotes and Smart Remarks
Mike "It's my seeing eye jaguar" talking about having trained attack animals.

Ordering food at the tavern
Mike "Do you have sparkling water?"
Jim "I can add glitter."
John "You've got to try the elvenberry vinagrette. And no dwarven croutons."

Kevin "Its the Forest of Peril."

Discussing the Animal Summoning spell and that it only works on animals native to the area:
Kevin "If you were in the ocean, you could summon Kevin Costner; he's always there."
Michael's druid summons some bears
Mike "Meanwhile, somewhere in the woods, a little blond girl is in the bears' house."

After killing wyverns and discussing trying to remove their poison glands:
Kevin "This thing is full of license plates and old boots."

They found a magic lantern:
Mike "I rub the lantern."
Kevin: "That's what she said."
Jim "Its not a lamp.."
Mike "Genies can get lost and end up in other things. It could be a refugee-nie…"

A trap smashes Mike's fighter against the wall on the dungeon stairs:
Mike "I just got bitch-slapped by the basement."