Three Level Tour

Summary
After the party killed the were-rats that their guide led them to, they have coerced the were-rat survivor into keeping her promise to guide them to Skullport, somewhere on the third level of the dungeon. They come to a large room and she says a secret door on the other side will take them to the beginning of the route. But the party wants to examine the room first. One wall has a cross-section of the Undermountain complex, showing 23 levels… A pit is in the middle of the room, occupied by a zombie like creature that asks their help in getting revenge on its treacherous former associates. The party talks to the undead, a revenant, and decide not to get sidetracked with his quest. Some of the map levels have symbols that speak when pressed.
They move on with their wererat guide and at one point they find a gateway with a grey magic portal in it. Edgar (played by Brittany again) goes through and finds a room with an old white bearded man on a throne who offers to answer three questions, but one will be a lie. Edgar ducks out and gets the party, who brainstorm on the questions, trying to come up with questions they think they know the answers to. After answering their questions, the old man rants about "his" dungeon, they assume he must be the mad wizard Halaster. They depart and continue on. Moving far through the dungeons, their guide brings them to the last room on this level, they will need to slide down a long chute beyond it. But this room has some strange things in it, she doesn't know what will happen. When the party looks, they see the floor is plated in copper, there is a metal skull on a table which reminds them of a Flameskull and a sewn together corpse which might be a flesh golem. When they try to enter, the skull levitates and electricity arcs to the floor, electrifying the copper plating. Virion uses Dispel Magic to make the floor safe and the party runs and slides down the chute. The skull re-electrifies the floor as Virion is crossing it, but he escapes with mild wounds and follows the party down the chute.
At the bottom of the chute, the party is attacked by a giant blob covered in eyes and screaming mouths, it spits a glob of acid at Orie. The party fights it and kills it and moves deeper into the level. The wererat offers them a choice; ahead there are drow and hobgoblin forces fighting for control. The party needs to move through the drow territory to get to Skullport. They can go one way, which will take them through a less populated area, but which is held by more powerful drow and possibly driders. Or, they can take another path which will have more drow, but they will be rank and file soldiers of less power. The party decides on the lower level drow, hoping to cut their way through easier and maybe score points with the hobgoblins. But before they get to the drow area, they encounter a sentinel, an undead beholder. Using a combination of Invisibility and disguise spells, the party fools the zombeholder and passes by.
Travelling on, they encounter a passage guarded by animated ballistae that shoot fire magic and destroy the animated siege engines. A room with a column with copper spigots and wall decorations of carousing dwarves ends up dispensing a glob of green acid on Tetsuo; he saves a vial of it. A door opens into a high, vaulted passageway with glowing red crystals embedded in the ceiling and sculptured walls showing dwarven miners, but some of the art has been defaced with stone tentacles.
At last the party finds stairs leading down to the next level. Again, they discuss the way with their were rat guide and decide to take a southerly travel to a river that will bring them to Skullport eventually. Descending the stairs, they find a crypt with the bones of long dead dwarves. They travel through caverns with buildings buiolt inside, this is drow territory. They check one building and find a kitchen of enslaved bugbears and goblins. The party quietly moves on, staying quiet and alert. But Nine giant spiders leap upon the party and ambush them. Several of the party are trapped in webs, but most break free. Orie is bitten and poisoned, multiple spiders focus on Edgar. Harker, Tetsuo and Fenriz lead the battle against the spiders and eventually they are slain. The party waits for drow to respond to the battle, but the cave remains quiet.
Leaving the caverns behind, they come back into carved tunnels. A large chamber filled with stone cubes and partially completed statues also holds a three legged, three armed creature standing in the center. Harker believes it is a xorn. The party surrounds the xorn and it fights back, wounding Fenriz. After it is killed, harker dissects it and finds some gems in its belly.
Finally the adventurers find the river, waiting along the shore is a gondola with an attendant, a tiefling skeleton. Fenriz speaks to it and gives it a platinum coin for a ride to Skullport. The party boards and it pushes the gondola down river. Expecting to arrive in Skullport, Virion removes his tabard and stows it in his pack and wraps his shield in a cloak to cover his god's symbol. Eventually the skeleton brings them to a dock and holds out a hand to each of the other people for payment. Since Fenriz paid a platinum, each person pays a platinum or 10 gold pieces. The party disembarks and finds a vast cavern, filled with buildings made of driftwood or other salvaged wood. Buildings are built on buildings in climbing levels or up the walls of the cavern.

Silly Quotes and Smart Remarks
Lee, starting the session "So we're in space…wrong game"

Talking to a very intelligent zombie, that wants the party's help
Mike to Jim "Do you have anything to fuckle with him?"
Jim "Is that a technical term?"

Looking around the room, with a cross section of the dungeon on the wall
Mike "So we're in the waiting room of doom. The lobby of doom"

The crazy old man says he will answer three questions. Two answers will be true, one a lie
Mike "So it's a Tinder profile"

Going through the maze like dungeon, the party will need to slide down a chute to the next level
MC "This is like a bad carnival in Florida"

One room holds a Frankenstein's monster-like flesh golem and a hovering, metal plated skull that radiates electricity
Jim "This is the most metal encounter ever"

Fighting a giant blob-like gibbering mouther
MC "I cast Hail of… Thrones"
Kevin "That would be a good spell; thrones are usually heavy"
Mike "The Iron Throne is very pointy"
Jim "Toilets rain from the sky"

An undead beholder stands sentry
MC "A zombie beholder. A zombeholder"
The party tries to bluff their way past with Invisibility spells and disguises and it watches them pass
Kevin "Keep swimming, keep swimming…"

Looking for a place to rest before entering the drow held areas
Kevin "Is there an inn?"
Lee "There is no inn in Drowtown"

Lee got a spam call, the caller ID said "Hurricaine Bible"
Lee "Sounds like a boxer"
Chmiel "Hurricaine Bible splits the Red Sea"

Coming to a door, Fenriz examines it for traps
Mike "I'll check it. Checkaroni and cheese"
Lee "It's clear"
Mike "I'll crack it open. Crackaroni and cheese"

Tetsuo smashes a giant spider
Chmiel "More like daddy gone legs"
Tetsuo hits another, but doesn't quite kill it
Lee "It's hanging on by a, pardon the pun, by a thread"
The party kills most of the spiders, Lee is looking down his initiative table
Lee "Dead spider, live spider, little ball of fur"

The party kills a xorn, Kevin suggests its gullet may be full of gems
Lee "If someone wants to go digestive tract diving"