The Road South

Summary
After rescuing their companions from the drow, the party rests in Lorothim and plans their next move. Some party members decide to step out and some of the adventurers who helped them decide to join the party. Eloise doesn't join, but refers them to a fellow ranger, Rorgan, who joins them instead.
The attack on the drow didn't provide any information, so their only other clue is a name of the vampires' contact and her location, Ifoss. Ifoss is a city in Southern City States, south of the Dwarfberg Mountains. They decide to set off with their new companions. Along the way they are attacked by a pair of trolls.
Approaching the next town, Falenshire, they meet a couple of merchant wagons fleeing north with labored horses. Ragnar convinces them to stop and the merchants say they arrived at the town of, but there were corpses in the street and the town was empty, so they fled rather than stay the night. The party scouts ahead and finds the town quiet. There are some dead townsfolk, mostly elderly ar armed men killed in battle. There is also some dead livestock. The ranger finds tracks of humanoids, possibly ogres, leading the people and some animals away into the woods. Roskva loans the ranger her Darkvision ring so he can track in the dark and they follow the tracks. The trail leads into the hills and they find a small box canyon where the ogres have made camp with the missing people and animals. They decide to ambush the ogres on watch. They attack and slay the ogres, but the noise awakens more of the ogres. As seven more ogres attack the party, Clare charges into the battle. Roskva casts Web, trapping a few ogres, but most escape and they charge the party. Rognar hits the ogres with arrows, dropping a couple and Duma slays a couple with her axe. Ragnar casts Strength of Stone on Clare and she kills three ogres herself. The party rescues the townsfolk and they explain the ogres are working with a witch, she made the mayor call the people together so the ogres could capture them. The witch took some teenagers as prisoners and left. They beg the adventurers to rescue the teens. Rorgan continues to track the witch and her captives and the trail leads to an abandoned farm house. They scout around and Wittr detects some magic in the basement. They sneak inside and and find tracks leading to the basement. Downstairs, one of the missing teens is tied to a wall, slumped unconscious with torture wounds and animal bites. Pokers are heating in a brazier nearby. They release the teen and Ragnar heals him, and they find the other two teens locked in a root cellar. They send all three upstairs with Wylie to protect them. Before they can do anything more, long black, rubbery tentacles burst from the floor and attack the party. Some of the party slip from their grasp, but Clare, Ragnar and Rorgan are held and the tentacles constrict, crushing them. The party cuts them free and the tentacles dissipate. They spot a softly shimmering magical sphere at the end of the basement, it must be the witch, invisible in a defensive spell. She hits the party with a Lightning Bolt and Roskva collapses. An enraged Duma charges the witch, swinging her great axe through the bubble, wounding the witch. Ragnar casts Silence 15' Radius on the witch, then Strength of Stone and charges into battle. Wittr attacks with his staff and Clare flanks the witch by smashing through a thin basement wall to attack from beside. The witch dies of her wounds and becomes visible, wearing a Cloak of Elvenkind. But then her body changes and she becomes a monstrous Lamia. She has a magic sword and a Potion of Giant Control as well as gems, jewelry and coin. The adventurers return the victims to town and are given a lavish breakfast as a thank you.

Silly Quotes and Smart Remarks
Matt is talking about his dwarf
Matt "I lift up my shirt and its all hair"
Jim "Your beard grows into it"
Kimi "Just like real life"

Still talking about his dwarf
Matt "Its okay; I've got a giant shield"
Mike "Well, its a normal shield but its giant to him"
MC "So he's compensating"

Attacking the ogre camp at night
Mike "I don't want to die in the night"
Jim "You want to die in the morning?"
Mike "Bad things happen in the night"

MC "I've grown up to be the eco-terrorist I've always wanted to be"

At the beginning of the second session, reviewing the plot and that they are on the way to the city of Ifoss
Ryan "Ifoss my teeth"
Chmiel "Ifoss-ter small animals"

The townsfolk claim a witch led the ogres
Matt "She turned me into a newt"
Chmiel "I'm the only witch here and I'm a good one"

The party trails the witch to a deserted farm house
MC "Can I lick the walls?" Everyone was confused "To see if they're candy and figure out what kind of witch we're dealing with"

Evard's Black Tentacles spell erupts in the middle of the party and they are grabbed by the spell tentacles
Matt "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going…"

MC rolls a Perception check and rolls a 19 when she wanted to roll low
MC "I rolled with the wrong hand; I went lefty instead of righty"

GM's note: With my players penchant for offcolor references and dick jokes, I knew what was coming as soon as I said "Lamia". But that monster fit my requirements perfectly. So…
Mike "She's a labia"
Chmiel "You ran your sword through the labia"
Mike "We gangbanged the labia in the corner"
Kimi and MC's characters did the most damage
MC "Takes a pussy to kill a pussy"