Warning: these pages contain adult subjects and profanity and are intended for mature readers. No actual maturity was involved.
We've always had a lot of quotable comments flying around, I didn't always have a chance to write them down. I try to do a better job these days and here's a combined page of them. And I have some Quotes of Antiquity from long before Meetup and Inside Jokes that came up in games. There's also Other Funny Stuff, a page of related jokes.
Old Quotes from previous games
Everyday conversations with cats
Current Quotes
Personal Quotes
Discussing the various Dutch cruise ships we've seen in Bar Harbor like the Maasdam and Volendam
JoAnne "But not the Gundam"
Jim also mentions the Zuiderdam
JoAnne "Did you say Zoidberg?"
Jim's Kobolds Ate My Baby!
Bride for King Torg(All Hail King Torg!)
Discussing rain
Jack "A little rain never hurt anyone. Wait…"
Jim "Noah would like a word with you"
Side discussion about the French polevaulter who hit his junk on the bar
Brittany "And link provided"
Jack "Attachment below"
Brittany "There's an attachment below…"
Looking at the map of a stream with a bridge
Brittany "A bridge? Is there a troll? Oh, shit…"
The troll throws a rock at the four kobolds
Brittany "Just four Beatles crossing Abbey Road with rock"
Katya "You're on fire"
Brittany "I'm on a roll"
After game discussion about druid wildshape and the choice to have your gear morph into your new body or fall to the ground
Jim "You could turn into a bug and fly away and have your empty clothes fall like Obi-Wan when Vader kills him"
Brittany "Wait, what?"
Jim "At the end of Star Wars Episode 4"
Brittany "I've never seen the whole thing"
Jim, dumbfounded "You, with your encyclopedic knowledge of old movies, haven't seen all of STAR WARS?"
Jim's Cyberpunk 2020 Bahamas Extraction
Picking characters, the "fighter" class are called "solos"
Jack "You'll have to solo it"
Playing off Sam's character, it was suggested characters' last names be type of metal + body part
Brittany "I am Ethel Coppertoes"
Jim "Sounds like a gnome name"
Brittany "Ethel Platinumtoes"
Jack and Jim "Expensive gnome name"
Some of the characters have smart guns
Brittany "Smartgun talks to you"
Jack "Alexa, shoot this guy"
Brittany "They went to gun Harvard"
Discussing the resort
Brittany "Criminal Hotel"
JoAnne "Isn't that prison?"
Jack "Motel Six"
NPC boat smuggler is nicknamed "Fishbreath"
Nick "Someone gave her that name"
Brittany "She likes sushi, what can she say"
Brittany's D&D 5E Bandit Rescue
The first fight is between the Barbarian and Monk versus two bandits
Brittany "Barbarian and Monk; sounds like a TV show"
Jack is trying to figure out how to activate the trap to set it off
Jim "You activate the trap, I'll be back here ready to heal you"
Jim's cleric heals Jack's barbarian back to full
Brittany "We'll have to fix that"
Jim "Spoken like a true DM"
Brittany was constantly apologizing and saying "sorry" for being slow and also all the rooms had wall sconces for lighting
Brittany "When I apologize, I'm really saying sconce"
Jack realized Jim was using the dice he favors when he DMs
Jack "You're using your DM dice; that's cheating"
Jim "But I'm using them for you, not against you"
Jack "That's right, objection withdrawn"
The cardstock mini of the cultist had green spell flame on one hand, but Katya thought it looked more like a cartoon of something smelly
Katya "There's something wrong with his hand"
Brittany "He hasn't washed it"
Jack's D&D 5E Silver Mountain
We had a Kenku (bird person) and Tabaxi (cat person)
Jim "We should have a werewolf character so we can have a dog chasing a cat chasing a bird"
Evan "Our group is named 'The Food Chain' "
Sam tips the potion seller
Jack "I can buy food for my cat"
Sam "I'm a cat; you can feed me"
Katya "He's not taking any strays"
An old evil spirit is threatening to break free
Sam "I hate when I wake up an eldritch deity"
Brittany "It puts a real damper on your day"
Jack "You sense a presence"
Jim "That you haven't felt in a long time"
Jack is explaining his plot
Katya "I appreciate the psychology of it"
Jack "I don't play on the table, I play up here" <taps his temple>
Sam's druid is in tiger form and is trying to detect a shadow by smell
Evan "What does a shadow smell like?"
Katya "The night"
Jim's D&D 5E Serpents of Oran
Dead End
Evan signs on to Discord and he still has the tropical island cartoon background from when we played Cyberpunk
Evan "Oops, I didn't know it would do that"
Thorn is a Tabaxi (cat person)
Brittany "Are you Puss 'n Boots?"
Jim "He does have a rapier"
Thorn attacks the the other Tabaxi, Cadence, in a "cat fight"
Sam "Get the water bottle"
Brittany "I use Prestidigitation to spray them with water"
Nick "I wade in and pick them both up by the scruff of their necks"
Thorn is injured and Andre heals him
Nick "I Lay on Hands"
Brittany "Are you going to pet the cat?"
Nick "This group seems in need of moral guidance"
Evan "Thanks, dad"
The weather is cold
Katya "This is an opportunity to fortify my body"
Jim "With brandy"
Jack "They say you can't find happiness at the bottom of a bottle, but I found power instead"
Jim "You see crows circling"
Brittany "Did I do that?"
Jim "Not Urkeling"
What to do if Jack's bearfolk dies
Jim "Don't worry, we'll taxidermy you"
Jack <affronted> "You can't make me into a bear skin rug!"
Jack "Druids are just clerics of the woods"
Telflamm Inquiries
Jack arrives a little sleepy
Jack "I had a really good nap; I think I'm still in it"
He also bought a bear attack shirt.
Discussing Sam's character Kiri and the missing child Nyvana that no one, including her parents, remembers
Jack "Ah, middle child syndrome"
Discussing character back stories and comparing the last campaign and this one
Jim "We had too many mom and dad issues last campaign
Jack "I specified I didn't have parents so I wouldn't have parent issues"
Jim "Challenge accepted"
Talking about how tall Andre and Mirag are
Sam "Everyone who meets you says the same thing; 'Give uppies?' "
Talking about how big the Shou Town (fantasy Chinatown) part of the city is
Nick "Is there little trouble there?
Discussing Andre's appearance
Brittany "Do you look like Thanos?"
Jim "Yes, with a big red beard"
Brittany "Thor and Thanos; Thornos"
Discussing Mirag's bearfolk, is he a bear turned into a humanoid, or a person stuck halfway into bear form, or some kind of werebear?
Sam "You can't just ask someone why they're a bear"
Discussing magical artifacts
Brittany "Are there fantasy museums?"
Nick "Knock, knock, it's the British"
Nick's character is drinking dwarven fire whiskey with Rafael
Katya "My alcohol senses are tingling"
We were playing online and Jim was having connection issues and asked for people to tell him when he cuts out
Nick "We need a safe word"
Jim "The safe word is bananas"
Looking for the men who drugged and kidnapped Caeli
Sam "If I was some random dudes, where would I take a drugged lady?"
Andre immediately throws down with the barbarian kidnappers
Nick "I woke up and chose violence"
Talking about how Katya has been rolling really well for initiative but got the first botch/hit a team mate on Nick
Jim "Katya has monk speed"
Katya "If only my attacks would hit"
Sam "Hit the right people"
Evan uses Thorn's tabaxi heightened movement
Jim "You just got the zoomies"
