Shell Game

Ex-Cop: "Duke", as in "the Duke abides". Played by Konrad
Ex-Prizefighter: Quincy "The Brick" Malone. Played by Matt
Ex- Soldier: "Boomer". Played by Michael
Ex- Space Racer "Dirty Dan". Ryan's character, NPC this time.

The team is approaching Mars when they receive a distress call from a space truck, they are under attack by three pirate zipcraft. Dirty Dan plots an intercept course, Boomer mans the gun and Duke and Quincy suit up. They engage the pirates and destroy two and send the third fleeing. They salvage the wreckage of the two destroyed ships and put in a bounty request when the police show up.

The team lands on Mars and begins calling contacts for information and examining the wreckage. The landing gear has sand in the tires which proves to be from Titan. They find out the pirates are a band referred to as the "Gateway Phantoms" because the ships have never been seen using the Gateway system, but they have been preying on space trucks all over the Solar System. They find an isolated truck and threaten to kill the driver until they uncouple the cargo canister, then the Phantoms grapple it and tow it away. They have killed a few people who refused to surrender.

Looking at cargoes stolen, they talk to some underworld contacts and find out a fence on Io, Lolo Jackson, recently moved some goods that might have come from one of the stolen trucks. They decide to go to Io and kidnap her to interrogate. They look Lolo up in the Mexican restaurant she uses as a front. Quincy and Duke don gas masks and kick in the front door and throw a gas grenade at Lolo's table. There is a short gun battle with her and her thugs, they shoot her and her posse with rubber stun bullets. Boomer comes in the back door and gets in a fight with a cleaver wielding ex-con cook. Boomer helps Duke and Quincy drag Lolo out back to where Dirty Dan is waiting in the get away car. (Did I mention Lolo looks like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show…). Unfortunately, one of Lolo's men has the drop on Dan with a gun to his head (this was the big Things Don't Go Smooth moment). Duke tries to engage him in conversation and botches, the guy shoots Duke, but he has body armor under his suit. Quincy and Boomer unload on the gunman and kill him. The team scoots before the police arrive.

Questioning Lolo, they find out she bought the goods from Sven Sanderson, a freighter captain on Io, his ship is a 1600 ton Thor class freighter, the Lennart. They fly to Titan and ask some questions and find out the ship has been seen near Titan's North Pole. They fly recon and spot an old military base. They come screaming in to storm the base, landing right in the middle. It's a bloody hand to hand and gun battle with occasional fire support from the ship's cannon. They defeat the pirates and capture their ships in a concealed hangar with stolen goods. They call in the police and claim bounty on the whole band.

Michael "I shoot the biggest thing I see."
Jim "That would be Mars…"

Matt "You know, <Michael> is the only one of us who rolls crits like its his job."

Matt (talking about space cops): "How do you like putting tickets on spaceships?"

Konrad "Those ships had less hit points than your mom."
Matt "'Cause your mom's the Death Star. I'll have you know my mom's an elder dragon."

Matt is writing a ninja note
Konrad, in a wheedling tone "Hey, what's that you're writing?"
Matt, surly "Nothing."
Konrad "I just want to proofread it."

Konrad "Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver."

Matt "There's always a bigger fish."

Konrad "So, we're on Mars..."

Konrad "It's faux whale penis leather."

Jim "Callisto is frigid and hostile."
Konrad "Sounds like a girl I used to know."

Konrad is being a cheapskate with his bribes.
Konrad "I slide over an extra 500 woolongs ($50)."
Michael "My toilet paper costs more than that."

Michael, after Matt's fighter knocks out a guy with his taser gloves "Karate Chop!"
Konrad "What is this, Austin Powers?"
Michael "Stun chop!"

Matt "I'm going to drop the hammer on him,and by the hammer, I mean the brick."
Konrad "And by the brick, you mean your penis."