Quotes Of Antiquity

"Drow, the other dark meat." Which led to:
Fillet o' Drow
McDrow Sandwich
Drow Au Gratin
Peking Drow
Drow L'orange
Tossed Drow salad
Pickled Drow Knuckles
Drow Cacciatore
Peanut Butter & Drow
And our favorite: Kung Pao Drow

My friend Eric went to RIT in Rochester while I was at Buffalo State College, and I would go out to Rochester every couple weeks and I often got called in to reinforce their D&D party (they had a truly dickish DM). Eric's character had pulled a card from the Deck of Many Things and got the deed to a castle, but the castle had been captured by a large enemy group (73 gnolls, 12 ogres, 4 8th level NPCs). We had six 4th level characters… We won.
Finding out what we were up against
"73 gnolls, 12 ogres, 4 8th level villains? No Problem!"
Planning the attack
"Strategy, we need more strategy!"
"A long and boring planning session is better than a short and fatal attack."
The scattered groups had signal horns, we thought they were to call for reinforcements if attacked. No, the patrols would blow the horn and they would all retreat into the castle together…
"Our plan had only one flaw; they did the exact opposite of what we expected."
We were able to kill most of the gnolls and ogres outside the castle on patrols. The thief snuck up to the castle and saw one of the leaders on the castle wall and hit him with two arrows with wyvern venom. As the DM rolled his saving throws, we chanted "Fail the save, fail the save"
We got inside and finally came face to face with the villains. One was a dual wielding fighter who got two attacks with each weapon per turn
"You know you're in the trouble when the DM rolls four d20s for ONE NPC's attack…"
"Run, it's the Cuisinart!!"

"I do the generic door <or room, hallway, treasure chest> thing." Meaning Find Traps, Disarm Traps, Pick Locks.
"I do stealthy thief <or ranger, ninja, monk> tactics." Meaning Hide in Shadows and Move Silently.

"I said a SMALL hole!!"
"There's a skylight?!"