This was a texting joke that turned into a pun battle
Jim "For Brittany, who was the first one I heard make a "long as a CVS receipt" joke"
Jim "Although, I once had a two foot long Petsmart receipt for one item…"
Jack "And he did say unto the people "here is how much you could've saved today"."
Jim "And when the people did gaze upon the coupons printeth on the back, they did swoon"
Jack "We look back upon these sacred scrolls and remember when they did expire three years ago. Oh, how we wait for a new coupon."
Jim "But woe, for upon the day of the holy reckoning of the divine check book, the scroll was lost! And thus we go to the scripture of the bank statement to verify that which we had spendeth"
Jack "(Good lord this has gotten deep) And once again the Romans impose upon us the tax of the sale and the tax of the incoming."
Jim "But Caesar did declare a celebration of sales, and did waiveth his share upon the purchase of articles of clothing and furnishings for thy home."
Jim "I am watching the weather for this weekend, right now it is 2-6 inches Saturday and 5-8 Sunday, so we may play online. I will keep everyone informed"
Jack "Thank you for the update Jim. Now over to Brittany with sports. But seriously thank you for telling me because I need more salt for outside."
Jim "You made JoAnne laugh, you get a chip"
Jack "Thank you Jim. And of course JoAnne for laughing at my joke."
Sam "I'm so sick of the snow 😭"
Jim "Weather forecast continues to be unpleasant, so we will play online Sunday at 3pm. And now back to Jack in the studio."
Jack "Thanks Jim. Currently reading from the teleprompter. Do we have a story lined up? No. Well get me a story. Are you typing this into the teleprompter? Why are you still typing? We will be right back after these commercials."
Jim "And now a word from our sponsors: Sasquatch. And back to our show."
Jack "So sasquatch is finally sponsoring us. Good for them for coming forward with their fortune from those grainy YouTube videos. I've lost the bit is it time for wheel of fortune yet?"
Jim "Wheel. Of. FISH!!"
Jack "He's floundering trying to solve the puzzle."
Jim "You're not going to skate out of this one"
Jack "This CARP shall not stand. Your place upon the mighty pun PERCH shall be buried under a TUNA puns from my BASA FISH jokes. Holy MACKREL this is taking a lot of effort. Watching the clip this is great."
Evan "Now back to Jack in the studio, with his interpretation of “do the shrimp dance” "
Jim "All your BASS are belong to us, COD damn it. I'm going to throw you TROUT the door. I have a SHARK wit"
Jack *proceeds to lay on ground since there is no water in the studio* "I will not be a PRAWN in your game of life."
Jim "You better have a STURGEON standing by to MINNOWmize the suffering. This is a hard one without cheating"
Jack "ORCAstrate your next ANGLER of attack wisely. Only an act of COD can save us now. I've been cheating for a bit."
Jim "One more, just for the HALIBUT. Orcas are mammals or did you do that on PORPOISE?"
Jack "Landed one more GOLDEN SHINER before I SALMONED onto the floor. Well played sir. My last RAY of hope has proven to be a CATFISH of defeat. Good battle sir."
Jim "It was looking BLEAK. It was good HERRING from you"
Jack "It was great to hear from you as WHALE Jim."
Brittany "This better go up on the wiki"
I started with something like "Ready to play?" and we got:
Jack "Down to Clown"
Jim "You're okay to slay?"
Jack "24 a day"
Jim "On track to hack?"
Jack "Without any slack"
Jim "You're losing pace on the race. It's two words that rhyme each time"
Jack "You should be clear on your rules, you making me out for a fool. But I'm down for dnd, whenever the meetup may be"
Jack "Get in on the action and join my rhyming faction"
Jim "You started the journey to this tourney with 'down to clown'. Now you can follow and not sound hollow"
Jack "I cannot be bound with a voice this resound. But if you choose to continue this bout, you will falter to me without a doubt"
Jim "It's your fault I continue this assault. By my word, I will be heard. You will yield and I will master the field. I will even DOUBLE DOWN and send you to TROUBLE TOWN"
Here's an old one from my cardiac stress test:
Jodi I can guess……..
Jim If your guess is stress, maybe
Lee Perhaps you are under duress.
Jim It's all such a mess
Lee My sympathies, I confess.
Jim It's been quite dreadful, I must profess
Lee If we keep this up, of me you may think less.
Jim It's okay if you transgress
Emily He looks good in a dress.
Jim I think you digress
Emily But, you so dress to impress.
Jim I try to be faultless
Emily You might need to reassess…
Jim I always listen to my favorite seamstress
Emily Nonetheless I profess your finesse <mic drop>
Jim I express my success at your egress
