Marooned

(GM's note: based on the Classic Traveller Double Adventure Marooned/Marooned Alone)

Setting the Trap
The team has returned to Herdessa Base with the damaged pirate ship Nightspeed. Since Jedi Knight Bruin was able to slice the ship's records, they know the pirate's comm codes and the planned route of the pirates' mothership. Captain Nivix proposes a plan to attack the pirates using the raider to approach the pirates. Commodore Tane approves the plan. Alana, Fom, Bruin, Talik and Y'ggdrasil will jump the Nightspeedto a staging point near the pirates' current position and rendezvous with a Republic corvette, the Prowess to take on teams of boarding troops. The Nightspeed will then make a short jump to the pirates' position and dock with the ship and attempt to seize it. The Prowess will jump in on their signal to assist.

Counter-trap
The plan hits its first problem when they arrive at the rendezvous and the pirates aren't there. But the Nightspeed's records give alternate locations and they jump again and find the pirates. The Nightspeed docks to a cargo bay and the troops storm out when the hatches open, but the cargo bay is empty of pirates, just some cargo handling droids and crates. They shoot out some security cameras and start looking for a way into the rest of the ship when the pirate's guns fire and blast their captured ship off the airlock. The cargo bay's air rushes out, Alana throws a grenade at the emergency closure button and misses. Fom uses Force Push and the hatch closes. They feel the ship's engines start up as the ship gets underway. Fom cuts a hole in the ceiling and they climb up onto the next deck, emerging into a hall lined with staterooms. Bruin and Talik stay in the cargo bay as Bruin attempts to hack into the ship's computer. Fom, Alana and Y'ggdrasil head aft towards the engine room as the Republic boarding teams head for the bridge. But their way is blocked by three Destroyer Droids and more cut off the boarding teams from the bridge. The ship jumps into hyperspace as they battle the Destroyers. Both teams fall back after damaging some droids, but are not able to hold them off. Bruin gets into the ship's computer and orders it to drop out of hyperspace early. The unplanned emergence cause the ship to "fall" into a system's gravity well and it comes out too close to a planet and skips off its atmosphere (GM's note: Yes, the odds of coming out of hyperspace and randomly hitting a habitable planet are literally astronomical). The team and the four surviving Republic troops fall back to a life boat pod and prepare to eject, Alana ejects other pods as decoys, then they launch. As Alana flies the pod to the surface, they see the pirate ship barely manage to pull out of the atmosphere and escape. They take a quick sensor scan of the planet before they land.

Exercise is good for you
On the planet, they take stock of their supplies and equipment from the lifeboat. They only have about two weeks of food, but there is animal life here, maybe they can hunt. They begin to march across the plains towards a starport they saw on their approach. They activate the lifeboat's emergency beacon in hopes someone friendly will find them. There is life of all sizes, at one point Alana is attacked by a group of predators, four armed lizards that look like raptors. They are easily killed and Y'ggdrasil test one with the food scanner, they are safe to eat, so he takes a bite. The boarding team sergeant suggests he cook it first…
They encounter a herd of grazing animals, but they are huge six legged beasts weighing more than a ton each. Talik approaches them and uses her Force powers to see if they could be domesticated, but she says they are too dumb to control and too big to hunt safely. They travel on and find a herd of smaller beasts and Talik again says they are too simple to use. Alana sneaks up to snipe one with her blaster rifle, when the heard turns to charge them, the troops throw stun grenades at the herd and they spook and flee, leaving their dead herd mate behind. They butcher the kill and dry some of the meat to carry. Talik goes off and approaches one of the herd again and tries to get it to carry her. The beast charges her and she Superleaps up and completely over it. Losing sight of her, the creature returns to its grazing.

Traps within traps
A few days later they hear a sound and scan the sky, its a ship descending towards them! Maybe its a rescue, someone has found their beacon. But as the ship descends, they recognize the pirate ship they attacked and escaped from as it skipped across the atmosphere. The pirates have returned… The ship goes into a hover and orders them to drop their weapons. A cargo hatch opens and a repulsortruck loaded with pirates descends. The team dives for weapons or uses Telekinesis to retrieve lightsabers and attacks. Y'ggdrasil pitches a grenade up into the ship's cargo bay with an awesome toss. Alana and some of the troops open fire and she hits the driver. Bruin Superleaps into the truck and attacks pirates with his lightsaber. Fom prepares to defend against blaster attacks while Talik circles behind the descending truck to sneak attack. Some of the pirates shoot at the party and their sergeant is struck and knocked unconscious. One of the soldiers runs to treat him. Bruin jumps from the truck before it lands and is shot by the pirates and wounded severely. Two of their soldiers toss grenades in, killing most of the surviving pirates and wounding the rest. The pirate ship replies by firing a turbolaser and vaporizing two of the soldiers and ordering them all to surrender. Two more trucks with troops fly out and the pirate commander orders them to strip down. They comply, although Tarik draws the line at her panties. Once the pirates see the half-naked Twi'lek girl, their attention is …diverted… The pirates land and taunt Talik about how much she'll bring on the slave markets. The survivors are handcuffed and the wounded sergeant is killed by one of the pirates. They are loaded on the trucks and flown to the ship's cargo bay. They are lined up in front of some pirate officers who tell them "the Admiral" is looking forward to questioning them. They feel the ship accelerate and begin to climb to orbit. The officer orders the troops to drug the Jedi and kill the rest.
Again, the party is forced to attack. Talik uses Battle Meditation and half the pirates turn on their comrades and open fire. Y'ggdrasil chokes a pirate with his handcuffs and grabs his vibroknife to attack another. Alana and the last Republic trooper wrestle for guns. Bruin and Fom use the Force to throw attackers around and get their lightsabers. Bruin is shot and mortally wounded. The party and their pirate "converts" kill the other pirates, then they stun the surviving pirates under Talik's control. Alana and Talik immediately start pulling clothes off pirates and the rest follow suit. They grab armor and weapons and head towards the ship's bridge. They find a group of pirates in the ship's lounge and Talik uses Induce Sleep to knock them out. The ship jumps into hyperspace as they approach the bridge. Y'ggdrasil tosses grenade through and they storm in to finish the last pirates on the bridge. Alana takes the controls, they are in hyperspace headed for a fairly close destination. She doesn't want to risk forcing the ship out of hyper early, so she plots a course to Herdessa Base to activate as soon as they can after they emerge from hyperspace. She checks the ship status system and sees there are some pirates left in engineering. She overrides life support and lowers their oxygen levels until they pass out so they can be taken prisoner.
The pirate ship comes out of hyperspace in another system. Alana scans the area and detects a large ship a safe distance away with no transponder. She makes a sensor record of the unknown ship then brings their ship around and engages the new course and they safely jump back into hyperspace.

Silly Quotes and Smart Remarks
Chmiel was talking about a piece of equipment with a suggestive hand gesture
Chmiel "Its like a super soaker"
MC "That's more like a shake weight"
Chmiel "Budget cuts"

Jim laid out the pirate ship deck plan sheet which had lots of staterooms for crew with individual bathrooms marked
Lee "Look at all the toilets!"
Mike "Its the poop deck"

Bailing out in the lifeboat
Chmiel "What's the ETA to the…" <pauses in thought>
Jim "Crash site?"

Considering the survivors and their resources from the lifeboat
Lee "Its not quite the Donner Party"
Jim "You have died of dysentery"

Walking to the starport, which may take months
Lee "Are we there yet?"

The local lifeforms are hexapedal, some of the bird species have four wings
MC "More meat!"
Lee "I'm going to open a Buffalo Wing restaurant"

Chmiel was concerned about being the only female character and going off alone for bathing, etc, but Jim pointed out Kimi's Jedi was with them and one of the troops was female
Chmiel "Okay, we can have girl time"
Lee "Can I watch while you have girl time?"

Jim asks them to make a Perception check
Lee "I perceive that we're not there yet"

Mike's character keeps sampling raw meat from the local animals
Jim "Who are you, Bear Grylls?"

The pirates order the party to strip
Kimi "Why?"
Lee "Music starts to play"
Mike "Milkshake"
Lee "Pour Some Sugar on Me"
Mike "Cherry Pie"

Kim makes some good rolls
Kimi "Hey, when you're better, you're better"

Mike's naked character grabs his vibroknife from the ground and attacks a pirate from behind
Lee "You're going to rub your junk in his back"
Mike "I'm going to teabag him on the way down"
Kimi "Does a vibroknife vibrate?"
Mike "Yes"
Kimi "I could have figured that out for myself. Can I have a dumb question scratched?"

Discussing that the pirates might have left the mortally wounded Bruin behind when they took prisoners
Lee "Left on this planet, a fate worse than death…"

Many more teabagging jokes and Mike talking about dropping a few pubes
Lee "You're Pubes McTeabag"