Honeymoon In Opal

Michael- Druid Ramah
Kevin- Elf Thief Rythen
JoAnne- Half-elf Archer Niri
Mike- Fighter Raymond
John- Elf Fighter/Mage Elan

The party stops in a a tavern in Opal, the Black and Blue Goblin. They meet a well dressed arab man crying into a glass of expensive dwarven whiskey, he has already had most of a bottle. When the party talks to him, he explains his wife has been kidnapped by a vampire sorcerer, they were in Opal on their honeymoon. He hires them with a bag of gems as down payment to help rescue his wife. He leads them into the sewers and catacombs to the vampire's lair. Along the way, they are attacked by a tentacle monster lurking in a cesspool (an otyugh). Opening the door to the vampire's lair, they are set upon by a group of wights who are the entrance guards. The next room has a Nerullian priest and his bodyguards. They also find a chapel to Nerull and pour holy water on the alter to desecrate it. Finally, they find the vampire's laboratory, the kidnapped woman is trapped in a magic circle. But outside the magic circle are three wights, trapped in another circle. The husband calls her name and she lifts her head, she is not human! She has a human body but a lion's head. The party attacks the wights and break the outer circle. Then the vampire appears behind them (Invisibility spell) and begins casting spells at them. Niri hits him with three arrows, then Elan throws a Fireball spell past the vampire so the edge of the blast just reaches him. But the shockwave throws Elan into the vampire's alchemy bench and the potions combine to effect him as a Levitation spell and he floats to the ceiling. Seriously wounded, the vampire casts Teleport and escapes.
Their patron shifts to his true form, a lion headed man, the newlyweds are rakshasa! He gives the party another bag of gems as payment and the female casts a Gate spell and they return home.

Quotes and Smart Remarks
Mike: "Eenie, meenie, mynie, mo, which bar should I go?"

Michael, John and Mike
"Do they have organic goblin meat?"
"They have free range goblin."
"What constitutes free range?"
"They were wandering aimlessly when we killed them."

Kevin, about Mike's fighter being dumb: "He's immune to mental attack, if he was hit by a Psionic Blast, he'd be like 'What happened'?"

John: "Do they have sports in Opal?"
JoAnne: "Yes, all the mage schools have Quidditch teams."

Michael: "Is he swearing or reciting a poem?" about John's elf.
Jim "Could be both."
John "It's elven Haiku."

Kevin: "So there's a tentacle?"
Jim: "Two tentacles".
Kevin: "Is there a way to backstab it?"

Jim: "Ferengi; the kobolds of Star Trek."
Mike: "Mine, mine, mine." (like the segulls in Finding Nemo)

John: "So you're a fighter/monk?"
Kevin: "You're a funk"

Kevin: "You can tell he's a priest, he doesn't have shit all over him"

Jim: "<The passageway> opens into a chamber"
Mike: "The Chamberpot of Secrets"