Everyday Conversations with Cats

Max is in the air conditioned bedroom when we came home from the grocery and clawed the carpet to be let out. He roamed through the kitchen, then went back and clawed on the door to go back in.
Jim "You came out to see if we got you food, then wanted to go back in because we didn't?"

Max "Mrow. Mrow. Mrow"
Jim "You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means"

Sam is very twitchy, you can startle him opening a bag of potato chips
JoAnne "Stop being so twitchy!"
Jim "It's his nature"
JoAnne "You mean, his idiom?"

Max had a piece of carpet on his nose and started to lick at it to eat it
Jim "That's a fuzzy, not a snack"

Zoe was being very noisy
JoAnne "Its all about the meow"

Zoe is all black and was sitting on the desk in the moonlight
Jim "She is the angel of night and spookiness"

Sam is getting a little fat, he ran through the kitchen while we were getting ready for work
Jim "That was a pudgy stampede"
JoAnne "You mean a Sam-pede?"

Sam was laying on the floor, in all his pudgy glory
Jim "Yes Sam, you're very cute. Like a cute blimp"

Max is circling Jim in the kitchen, looking for food
Jim "No. Now go away or I shall deny you a second time"

Max gets into the kitchen cabinet, blocking Jim from putting away the crockpot
Jim "Get out of there you, you're not kitchenware"

Max is again circling Jim in the kitchen and gets underfoot twice
Jim "You sir, are a hazard to navigation"

Sam was sitting by the food bowls
JoAnne "Are you hungry Sam?"
Jim "Is he awake?"