Darksiders

Misdirection
While taking care of routine duties on the base, Master Cadan and Jedi knights Bruin and Talik are called to a meeting with Commodore Tane. Talik feels a mild disturbance in the Force, but not enough to worry about. They head to the meeting. Alana is inspecting the ship and XTR-MN8 is a the droid maintenance building. The three Jedi arrive at the meeting, but the commodore is late. They wait awhile, then the team's comlinks click on with Quint's breathless, pain filled voice. He tells them there are darksiders in the residence building, then the signal dies and they can't raise him. Master Cadan send Bruin and Talik to investigate and Alana locks down the ship and heads there with Spots. XTR also heads to the quarters building. Talik and Bruin arrive in time to see two strangers dressed in maintenance uniforms emerge from the building, one look is enough to detect they are dark force users. They draw lightsabers, the male human has a dark green blade, the female has a pair of short bladed yellow lightsabers. Talik and Bruin attack, but the two darksiders are more skilled and they go down with serious wounds. Alana, XTR and Spots arrive as the bad guys jump in a base speeder. Alana opens fire and hits the driver. One of the Darksiders takes over and begins to drive away. Spots goes to tend to the wounded Jedi and Alana assists. XTR shoots a grapple through a window and loops the cord around a utility pool, but the car snaps it. He fires again, wounding the darksider driver. The darksider female takes over and drives away. Alana puts out a base alert on her comlink, help has arrived and the two seriously wounded Jedi are prepared for transport. XTR fires his rocket pack and flies in pursuit of the car. Down the road, the car passes a parked speeder truck with a tarp in the back. The tarp is thrown back and three soldiers aim a crew served blaster at XTR and fire. XTR shoots the blaster power pack and disables the gun. The cannon gunners bail out and one of the darksiders shoots XTR with a blaster rifle and the droid crash lands. Bombs begin exploding all over the base. In the confusion, the darksiders and cannon gunners escape.

Recovery
Bruin and Talik wake up in bacta tanks a few days later, mostly recovered from their wounds. Master Cadan and the rest of the team brief them. The darksiders programmed a base officer into settingup their access to the base. The darksiders broke into Master Cadan's quarters and stole his Holocron. Fortunately, he has a tracking device in it. Quint is also alive, but was more seriously wounded. The after action reports indicate the darksiders escaped on a Barloz class transport, listed as the Astral Clipper. Commodore Tane is assigning an investigator from the Republic Security Force to assist them. Investigator Y'ggdrasil is a Rattataki and has been working on Herdessa. The tracking device leads to the Denarius system, so the team boards the Lavisar Courier to visit Denarius 7, the only inhabited world, a dry mining world. Landing at the largest port, the team splits up to investigate portmaster's office, local bars and such. They learn the Astral Clipperand its crew are mercenaries, but more on the pirate side. The ship has been here several times and picks up passengers, a scary pair of hermits who live in the desert. They learn the hermits come in from the South East wastes on a pair of speeder bikes they leave at the local pawn shop. When Alana and Y'ggdrasil confront him, he draws a weapon and attacks them. The capture him and take him back to the ship and learn he has also been programmed by the darksiders.

Cave of Evil
Comparing all they have learned, they decide to head into the wastes to find the darksiders. Unfortunately, they are a little short on transportation. But Spots has saved the day again, he requisitioned three speeder bikes and a four place speeder. They head into the desert until they feel a dark echo. It leads them to a cave in a hillside. They investigate and find a partially natural cave surrounding an underground lake with rooms tunneled out. They find a garage with the speeder bikes and a boobytrap with a blaster rifle sentry gun in the hallway behind the garage.The tunnel leads to a conference room with charts of known Jedi locations in the region, including their own. There is also a fancy dining room and a kitchen with a chef robot. Finally, they come to a practice room and the darksiders are practicing lightsaber combat. Alana throws in a stun grenade which stuns the woman. Talik strikes at the male darksider but he parries her strike. XTR and Y'ggdrasil shoot the woman while she's down and Alana shoots at the male darksider but he deflects her bolt back at her. He charges forward and strikes Talik down, cutting off her left arm then cuts XTR in half. Bruin steps in and kills the darksider with a single blow. They stabilize Talik and search the rest of the complex and find the Holocron and an old cave with an altar dedicated to the Dark Side. They clear out all the the darksiders' records and equipment and destroy the altar cave with a thermal detonator.

Silly Quotes and Smart Remarks
Michael is asking if his MSE droid can be equipped with a grenade or rocket launcher
Jim "Your Mouse droid is a suicide terrorist bomber?"
Chmiel "It shouts 'Allah Ackbot', its a model J1-HAD"

Jim, to Kimi "You feel a vague disturbance in the Force"
Kimi, to Lee "I feel a vague disturbance in the Force"
Lee "I had some bad tacos"
Jim "You can take your own transport"

XTR is flying on his rocket pack, shooting the escaping bad guys
Chmiel "Murder from above"
Chmiel "You're a leaf on the wind"
Kimi "You're a leaf on the wind"
Michael "Don't say that!"

Talking about other characters' reactions to Kimi's hot Twi'lek
Kimi "I'm the boobs in town"

Introducing XTR to Y'ggdrasil
Chmiel "This is our resident Roomba"
And Spots, Jim is doing his British drill sergeant bit
Jim "I'm starting to channel Kryten from Red Dwarf"

Michael is complaining that no one likes his droid
Jim "You're a second class citizen, suck it up"
Lee "He's a Suckotron 2000"
Chmiel "He's got a special attachment for that"
Jim "She's gone from suck to blow"

Chmiel "I'm the good cop, you're the bad cop?"
Mike "I'm bad cop as shit"

They snuck into the darksiders' cave, then XTR starts kicking down doors.
Michael "Why are we sneaking aroundif they could sense us?"
Lee "They might do it badly or be sleeping or or drunk or doing evil, shady side sith sex"

Stealing the darksiders' furniture
Mike "Its space Ikea, Spikea"

Talking about midichlorians as a food additive, like salt
Lee "The Force is with your dinner"