Bang Bus Quotes

Warning: these pages contain adult subjects and profanity and are intended for mature readers. No actual maturity was involved.

So one night there was a discussion of the porn company, Bang Bus. Lee made it a running gag and other people have contributed as well. The first couple were random numbers, then we started keeping track.

Chmiel stabs an enemy in the chest for max damage with his rapier
Chmiel "I give him a reverse zipper tits!"
Everyone "WHAT?!?"
Chmiel explained that it was his dad's friend's term for his nasty open heart surgery scar
Lee "Bang Bus 12: Zipper Tits"

The NPC's name is Sola
Lee "Bang Bus 15: Sola Powered"
Discussing how close they were to their ship
Jim "This is the port town"
Lee "Pork town?"
Emily "Do they have pork trucks?"
Lee "I see a new stop on the Bang Bus"

Talking about what hill giants find attractive, which seems to be big and fat
Jim "I don't want to see the Bang Bus episode for that"

At some point, the phrase "balls deep" was thrown out and it became the theme for the evening
Lee "Bang Bus 16: Balls Deep"
Astrid seduces the bosun
Lee "Bang Bus 17: Dykes on the Sea"
And bizarre ocean based venereal diseases
Mike "I've got squids; I'm shooting ink"

They download L8O's data, and decide Redo will run through it faster
Jim "Droid on droid action"
Lee "Bang Bus 18: Droid on Droid"

The dragon's lair is in the desert beyond the abandoned dwarven city Ascore
Chmiel "Ass Corp?"
Lee "Bang Bus 19: Ass Corp"

The planet's atmosphere is mostly breathable, but the average temperature and humidity is high
Lee "We can go for a hot, sticky picnic"
Mike "Bang Bus 20: Hot Sticky Picnic"

The sector's command staff was in the last ship of the rear guard to report in
Lee "Bang Bus 21: Rear Admirals"

The players are still complaining about needing filter masks or respirators to go outside on the new base planet
Lee "Bang Bus 22: Two Girls, One Respirator"

Hack mouths off to the guards and one hits him with the butt of his blaster rifle, which is a buttstroke, but no one else knew that, so for the rest of the night, it was all sexual innuendo such as:
Mike "He buttstrokes you, running his hand down the curve of your butt"
The secret word to attack was moist, and Leelan was walking around on his stump so of course we added
Lee "Bang Bus 23: Moist Stump"
Emily "Bang Bus 24: Butt Strokelandia"

Discussing porn, and a British version of Bang Bus in a taxi
Mike "It's a double decker bus
Lee "Bang Bus 25: Double Deck Her"

Discussing renting/stealing vehicles for the raid
Lee "Can we get a bus and call it the Bang Bus?"

Another witness describes a man injured by the blast, who limped away
Mike "Look for him in Crippletown"
MC "Bang Bus 26: Handitown"

Mike asks MC to get the charger cable for his bluetooth speaker, said it was in the cubbyholes of the table next to the bed
Lee "Bang Bus 27: Cubbyholes"

Mike was telling a story about MC slipping and landing on a fire hydrant like she was going to shove it up her butt
Jim "Bang Bus 28: Hydrant Sodomy"

Fenriz yells out the fleeing kenku is a child rapist
Mike "A dingo ate my baby"
Lee "Kenku ate my baby"
MC "Bang Bus 29: Kenku Raped My Baby"

Lee "There's a lock on my pants. What number Bang Bus are we on?"
Jim "We haven't had one in a while" <checks the wiki> "30"
Lee "Bang Bus 30: Pants Locker"
Mike "It's a play on Hurt Locker"
Lee "Squirt Locker"

Talking about someone else's Ravenloft game, one of the player characters was a German Van Helsing type who referred to a vampiress as a "Bitch of the Devil"
Jim "Bang Bus 31: Bitch of the Devil"
Later, Alicia asks Scott (who is not a Harry Potter fan) to identify a Harry Potter book by the scene on the glass she is holding
Scott M "Harry Potter and the Bitch of the Devil"
MC "That's the book where Harry gets divorced"

Jim comes back in from the other room and missed a Bang Bus comment, Bang Bus 32: That's Above My Pay Grade"
Jim "How did it come up?" wanting to document the origin of the quote
MC "It just kept coming up"
Lee "Bang Bus 33: It Just Kept Coming Up"

MC rolls very low damage against the monkey demon
Mike "Tis but a flesh wound. This game is kill the monkey, not spank the monkey"
Jim "Bang Bus 34: Spank the Monkey"

'Get on your knees boy' was a repeated phrase
MC "Is there a Bang Bus for get on your knees boy? Bang Bus 35: Get on Your Knees Boy"

Going through the book shelves
Lee "Bang Bus 1: Hot Elves. Bang Bus 2: Hot Elves, signed edition. Bang Bus 3: Hot Elves, My Ears Aren't The Only Thing That's Pointed. Bang Bus 4: Hot Elf on Dwarf Action"
Mike threw out a couple about halflings and hairy feet, but I missed them
Callum "Necromancer 1: The Dead Aren't The Only Things Rising"
Mike "Spectator 1: I Like To Watch. Spectator 2: Will You Do My Wife?"